She's crying or says it hurts

Where is the pain coming from?

• At the root: it feels like the hair is being pulled at the scalp

  Is the style finished, or are you mid-way through it?

  • Mid-way: it's hurting as I style

    Do this

    Relax your grip and re-gather

    Stop immediately. Let go of the hair you're holding and let it fall to its natural position. Re-gather by lifting, not pulling, from where it sits. Your non-working hand holds the gathered section steady near the scalp while your working hand does the securing. Root pain mid-style almost always means the hair is being stretched toward the back rather than gathered at its natural fall point.

  • It's in: she says it's too tight

    Where does the tightness feel worst?

    • At the base: where the elastic sits

      Do this

      Take it down and redo with less pull at the base

      Release the style completely. Re-gather the hair and hold it with your non-working hand at the exact point where the elastic will sit, not further back. The working hand wraps the elastic without adding extra tension. The hair should sit at its natural fall point, not be stretched toward the back. If it still hurts after two wraps, unwrap and re-gather the hair slightly lower.

      See: Classic ponytail steps

    • At the crown or across the top of the head

      Do this

      The front sections are pulled too far back. Loosen from the top

      This pain is caused by the front or parted sections being swept back against their natural direction. Take the style down. When you redo it, follow the direction her hair naturally falls rather than pulling it flat. For braids and plaits, start the first centimetre looser than feels right. It will firm up as you go. The crown should feel resting, not stretched.

• When the brush hits a specific snag or knot

  Where in the hair is the knot?

  • At the ends: the lower half of the hair

    Do this

    Hold above the knot and start from the bottom

    Grip the hair with the fingers of your non-working hand about 3cm above the snag. This stops the pulling reaching her scalp. Work only the bottom 5cm of hair free using the comb tip, then 10cm, then the full length. Never push the brush straight through from root to end while there's a knot in the way.

    See: Wide-tooth comb

  • Higher up: mid-length or near the roots

    Do this

    Hold the hair directly above the knot

    Put two fingers of your non-working hand around the hair just above the snag, as close to the problem as possible. This absorbs the tension before it reaches her scalp. Work the knot free with the tip of the comb using small short strokes. Do not try to push through the whole knot in one move. Work the edges loose first.

    See: Wide-tooth comb

  • Throughout: tangled in several places

    Do this

    Spray first, wait 30 seconds, then wide-tooth comb from the ends

    Apply detangling spray to the worst sections and wait 30 seconds before touching. The wait is not optional; it makes a real difference to how easily the hair moves. Start at the very ends and work upward in 5cm sections. If the hair is thick, split it in two and work each half separately. Fighting the whole lot at once is slower.

    See: Wide-tooth comb